Wednesday, May 21, 2008

comeback

A dear friend was down at the British council, with her daughter who had to take an exam.
Here is an incident that took place:
Apparently a lady came up to her and said, "You know you would be really pretty if you lost some weight".

Now apart from it being rude, its downright tasteless. My friend is really too polite and softspoken (unlike me) to respond. But for those of you, the next time someone says something idiotic like this to you. Here are some comebacks. I look forward to hearing what you would have said.

* You know you would be a better person if you stopped fighting with yourself and had that sex change operation.

* You know you would be a happier person if you experienced an orgasm.

* You know you would be prettier if you waxed your upper lip.

* You know you would be prettier if you took your primrose tablets.

* You know you would be prettier if you were not dressed like a dyke.

* You know you would be prettier if you put on some weight, it would take 5 years off you.

* You know you would be prettier if you had some boobs.

I have missed you all more than you know, and really too much has been going on in my life. Also I had writers block.
There is nothing worse than mediocrity.
There is nothing better than Malice.

Have a SHAGGADELIC weekend. :D

9 comments:

  1. Welcome back.
    Thanks for all of your support during my medical drama.

    btw, someone once told me the same thing many years ago, good god, if they saw me now they might keel over!!! I was barely chubby then!

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  2. It's the same when someone says to you 'you look nice today' What I didn't look nice yesterday? People just don't think before they open their mouths.

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  3. And my reply, "who asked you!"

    Nice to see you back, Btw.

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  4. I wonder about these people who cannot see beyond a convoluted image projected by the media. Its scary to think if a less than perfect child was born in such a home, or if a person suffered some sort of disabilty or sickness in their homes what would they say/do with that person. God forbid anyone get cancer, and lose their hair thru chemo or something.
    How utterly callous people can be.

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  5. hilarious post, kaya! :)

    PS: what was that hoax post all about (this blog is shutting down)??

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  6. Hey cg
    I hope U R feeling better and I really need to speak to you and know what were the results. But with final exams on and the kids coming home early, its becoming MAD!!
    People are soo stupid really, not realising that nobody chooses to be bald, or overweight or whatever.
    Sometimes one is just cursed with bad genes, the disadvantages of not having access to healthy activity or horomonal issues.
    i been a BIG girl all my life, and frankly speaking I really dont give a rats arse.
    My MAN adores me with all my love handles and michelin tyres, and I am "LOOKED AFTER", very well THANKYOU.

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  7. Hi Elle hon.
    yes, I know what you mean, it helps you develop a thick skin, but everyday one cant be strong, and sometimes it really hurts.

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  8. hey vagabond
    Thankyou. I'm just drifting around.
    Mid life crisis. LOL!

    You are really too polite. I think with people like that they need someone once in a while to slap em silly, and give them a wake up call. Its just not done.

    Hola sunshine gal.
    You said it all sistah.

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  9. Hey Radha.
    Kya haal hai?

    Yaar it wasn't a hoax, it did say UNTILL FURTHER notice.
    So much is going on, kabhi lagta hai 24 hours kamm hai.
    And now with kids going to be home in a weeks time, my brain is already smoking with the eternal
    WE ARE BORED mantra that will begin.

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