Saturday, April 15, 2006

one man's wedding is another man's funeral

In Pakistan it seems when you want to marry off your daughter, there are demands to be met. Depending on your financial status and the greed of the boy's family, you may either have to take loans you can never hope to pay back or sell any property that you had kept (hopefully) for such a day.

The list for an average Lahori bride:
A bedroom set (bed, large wardrobe, chest of drawers and dressing table)
A drawing room sofa set
A refrigerator
A microwave (modern times)
A washing machine
Jewellery (should include minimum two complete sets, 6 bangles, a few loose lockets,chains and rings for daily wear)
Two trunks of full of clothes (stitched and unstitched)
A television
A 4 piece suitcase set with matching makeup box (bear in mind that neither have ever set foot on a plane and probably never will)
Bedding for 6 people (the bedding concept was new to me but apparently its very Lahori as they sleep on the rooftops- includes heavy blankets, mattresses, and pillows, and bedsheets and pillow cases)

A seperate list will be for things to be given to groom and his family.
This will consist of
A pair of gold JHUMKA'S (dangling bell shaped traditional earrings)
Clothes for all brothers/sisters (married or unmarried)
(If married then for spouse of married siblings)
Clothes for both sets of grandparents (or warm shawls)'
Clothes for servants.
The groom will get
A pen set
An expensive watch
A suit to wear for reception (walima- given from boys side)
A sherwaani to wear on wedding reception
Perfumes
Undergarments, ties, handkercheifs etc
Most of these clothes will be worn once or if at all. There have been many cases where the groom is too much of an asshole to wear these clothes because they are not up to his calibre (this is transalated as: he has never worn such fine clothes and himself feels totally inferior, and out of place wearing them)

In the eventuality of the bride's father/brother working in the gulf the screwing is of supreme levels with extra cheese.
Optional items are Toaster, vacuum cleaner, dinner set, pots and pans, cutlery and well everything one would normally get as gifts at ones wedding reception.You know it even makes sense if the newly married couple are moving into their own place.

But in most cases she is going to live with her inlaws and they will get a room to themselves. They will procreate, reproduce and the ensuing brood will sleep with them in the same room.At some stage a sister will be married off and a spare room will be available or they will hit the jackpot and the oldies will conk off.This is how the average middle class joint family is in our part of the world.

But it doesnt end there. If within the period of engagement either of the eid's take place then clothes will be sent for groom, sweets, and in the case of eid ul adha , then a goat too will be sent.

If you think once she is married it will end then rest assured it will NOT.
Every eid, every birth of a child, and any occasion that can be cooked up will have the parents of the girl sending things.

For the girl's family the only silver lining is if they have son's of their own then they can refurbish their own homes in exactly the same method.
A lot of time things brought in by the girl into her husband's home will be recycled and used for the marriage of the husband's sister.

I suppose the only thing parents would want is for their daughter to fall in love, so they can make a big deal ,draw swords/guns and shout about family honour, and be secretly relieved when she runs away to marry.
No cost incurred, and very economical.

13 comments:

  1. *yawn* so what else is new.

    and they say Dowry was abolished, I'll speak about my 'Community', the weddings we have, well they dont have all these beddings and electronics and furnishings etc,but everything else is the same. as in its usually the New clothes + jwellery for the bride, in the spirit that shes is starting a new life so everything she has should be new. the worst part is when the bride gets all this stuff over, the whole world will gather just to see what she has got, and that will be the hot gossip discussion topic for a week .

    "pata hai, Total N suitcases the, ek bharke sariya - occasions ke liye, ek- normal, shiffon, silk, cotton, etc (ya whatever other materials), ek main siley huye suit aur ek main dress material, ek suitcase kache bhar ke, aur ek aur buckle/poniyo se, ek aur tha sariyo se matching blouse aur peticoat"

    "uske maa baap ne xyz to bheja hi nahi"

    "3 sone ke set, 4 kundan aur 2 hiro ke set the", (my community is famous for diamonds, you may not have a house to live but you should have lots of diamonds)

    The family will live in a studio flat in Dubai all their life, shift to a posh 2 bedroom apartment after the daughter crosses age 21/22 and have a lavish wedding with photographers from Ahlan ofcourse.

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  2. Nope, falling in love isn't an option for new age parents. Ultrasound and the golden words "The sky is blue" is a lovely combination. They can start planning on how to manage loans and the like on the instant cash reimbursement in 25 years.

    This freak show continues even with these people living their whole lives as ABCDs. Their outlook, ideas, opinions and attitude change - but not their effing culture. The rot will continue through the years, until somebody stands up and marries his bride rather than her parents. But that's not economical, as would their Harvard friends concur.

    If a guy were to say he wants to marry for love, the response is "Oye ch*****, devdas mat ban".

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  3. LMAO @ Archer
    Oye Ch****! Devdas mat ban.

    Maggar mazzay ki yeh baat hai in this part of the world ladkay ki shaamat aati hai. poor guy! He has tp pay for all the frills and yahan ki auratein really do the full monty.

    @ Harsha
    Oh Harsha ben. Tum bollaygi toh hum rishta tumhaaray liye bheja. sirf meray ko bhi diamond set chahiye ok.

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  4. Oii yaar I like totally forgot THE WATER COOLER and the FLASK( used in the hospital when she will go for her delivery- ies)

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  5. arey yaar woh tho hospital wale provide karenge naaa

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  6. Jee nahin. Hospital waaley ek standard fuuny coloured plastic jug provide karrtay hai. Flask ghar say lay jaana hota hai. For garam paani, chai, and martinis.

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  7. lol @ martinis, Martinis for a delivering mother?

    My mom still has boxes of handkerchiefs never used, a very nice posh looking suitcase which we never used because it alone weights some 12 kgs, we use it to store my moms collection of greetig cards she recieved in the last 21 years and cute baby clothes of me and my brother. (first frock, first suit, first uniforms, an amazingly cute tube top and long skirt of singapore airlines print, etc)

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  8. @ Harsha
    Yum yeh and a flask of bloody mary as well. God knows the tomato juice and celery is great for a feeding mom!

    Thats soooooooooo cute about storing ur baby stuff. years from now when u have ur own kids it will be Nani's pleasure to see them wear those outfits sometimes.

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  10. Keep up the good work »

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  11. i thought in islam the boys were milked for their money's worth aka the meher. as seen in many emirati weddings where the men are in debt to be able to afford their wife - cheapest thing is to marry a foreigner at half the price.

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