Saturday, 29 April 2006

new kid in town

Yesterday I had the opportunity to meet one of those new kid in town types.
You know them fresh off the tarmac, first time out of their hometown, first time on a plane. Still starry eyed with the aeroplane cuisine, looking at everything in that awed dazed wonderous rapture. The lights, the cars, the clothes. Its hard to believe in this day and time, with everyone becoming extra smart, extra clever and extra manipulative that such people still exist.

So fresh so innocent and such a delightful prey. I can see the wolves at bay, slavering at their chops at the smell of new blood and new meat.

She sits there primly, her legs crossed at the ankles, her calves perfectly aligned. In her shalwar kameez and with the lips so devoid of lipgloss it hurts my eyes to look at her mouth. Her eyes are clear and trusting.
In her hands: neatly folded on her lap, I see what looks like a CV. (I have come here to meet someone and she and I, are sitting in the lobby of this office.She has come for a job interview)

She smiles at me and it breaks my heart to hear her say, that she is here on a visit visa, to look for a job. She is staying with some cousin.
It breaks my heart because I see only too well, before that visa is over this person in front of me will have ceased to exist.
She is fresh out of University. The ink has not even dried on her degree. She has no job experience back home and obviously not in the big bad city.
Her only hope is her innocence burning bright like a neon sign.

She tells me her cousin advised her to join a training institute to learn secretarial skills. She has chosen : "Nadia".

Poor poor child! Perhaps there was a time when The Khaleej Times was a really a newspaper, perhaps there was a time when people visited from all over the Middle east, to do their shopping on AL WAHDA STREET, so perhaps there was a time when Nadia may actually have been a training institute teaching typing, shorthand or even speedwriting.

Now, the only claim to fame 'Nadia', has is as a finishing school for WHORES. They teach you to walk the walk, and talk the talk.
They teach you to unbutton your top three buttons, burn your eastern clothes, and invest in makeup, short skirts and skimpy blouses.
I kid you not and I assure you I am not being in the least faceitous.

In their training manual there is an entire chapter devoted on the "Basic Instinct" methodology of how to uncross and recross your legs.

I know someone who went to Nadia.
She told me that they promise to help get you a job, send you to job interviews when you complete the training.
But when the time came: to go on the job hunt. That is when she realised that the actual "TRAINING" begins. She was told that dressed the way she was (ie shalwar kameez) she would NEVER get a job.

On the cover they pretend to have a few rooms with some typewriters and computers. Obviously they cannot get a license for their actual operations, so they have the typewriter/computer screensaver on.

So you pay a fat sum of money to learn how to perform fellatio, how to operate microsoft (but never to use that terminology on your BOSS's equipment), and fool yourselves into thinking that someday its gonna change for you. That all this grubby pawing is the way to success, but the only way its going is you are getting way older and will be replaced when your warranty runs out at 3 years.

I do not know what to say to her. Should I warn her or should I let her find out in due time.
But I do tell her to be careful, and if she can, to go back home and maybe have a husband a home and kids.She is not cut out for the wolves and sharks.
All this talk of freedom, all this bra burning, feminism is a myth.
'Cause theres nothing out there but wolves, and through some inexplicable mutation in the gene pool all the wolves are of one gender. Male.


  1. Kaaayaaaaa...booodhi ho gayi hooo, sathiya rahi ho..kya bol rahi ho??

  2. Yes, success there is, at the end each session with the big bad wolf. You and I have seen the same women in question driving their VW beetles in matching lipstick. With their slick American accent and their constantly irritable demeanor, seldom do they realise that they scream "I blow my boss" from miles across.

    Almost anywhere I go, I see these godawful whores who keep saying 'stuppidddd guy' and 'get lost' (Indians) to the playful officeboy and not to forget...keep pouting 24/7? I fail to understand why some people are fascinated by such whores. I understand that pout makes all the difference. ;-)

    Hey... there are female wolves too, only that they're a bit picky. So picky that the pahelwan(bodybuilder) of their dreams could even be the company driver.

  3. Harsha beta.
    Which one is it not old enough? Or a staunch devotee of the rundikhaana?

    @ Archer
    Never has a truer word been said. You have really hit it on the head with the VW and matching lipsticks waali baat.

  4. I'm learning so much stuff from your blog!

  5. thoda controversial hi sahi, magar baat mein dum tou hai.

    VW :D

    nadia alumni ho kya? ;)

  6. Reader khush amadeed
    Welcome to my home.

  7. lol nope reader. hum self learning walo main se hain...

  8. Hmm, a song has been sung not too different from what you write about here; Californication (Red Hot Chilli Peppers). Perhaps there should be a new remixed version starring MC Kaya!

    Seriously, it is tragic. Girls like that can easily get devoured...let's hope she makes it, ey?

  9. Yes, sadly as these innocent groups of folks shrink and get alienated to the majority, they are slowly coerced into transforming themselves to fit into society.

    Such a pity that in the age of democracy, we are judged by appearances and not by intellect.

  10. A local take on the LRRH folk tale? yet she is still "luckier" than many who are gobbled by the cyclone without the pretense of training or the benefit of a vw! And btw, such fresh meat business is probably 2nd only to real estate!

  11. U so funny Shaykhspeara!
    RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS....GIVE IT AWAY give it away give it away now!!!
    You are so right. Its so sad we have come so far and yet haven't come far at all, from being dragged into the cave by our hair.

    @ Bandicoot