Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Gulf Times or The Khaleej News

I managed to read the papers today. WOW! You say. Well, Yes, it is for me to be able to read a newspaper while it is still on the same date. I am not going to link the stories, because really; you guys have read it too .

What I learned:
One lady stabbed her husband to death in front of her two year old and baby. She is 45 and has grown up kids who are married. Well, all I can say birth control pills, some primrose oil, and HRT are what she needs now.
Amazingly for once the two leading dailies had the lady's age right. WOW!

Auditing story :BORING
OASIS Center Update :CONTRIVED
Housemaid hurled from balcony:Very tragic

Im a little confused about
http://www.khaleejtimes.com/DisplayArticle.asp?xfile=data/theuae/2006/March/theuae_March694.xml§ion=theuae&col=

Primarily because for the life of me I couldnt link it, and secondly as awful as the incident is; even worse is the story which looks like a cut and paste job. But not in continous order.
There were 6 people in the stone crusher.
4 died on the spot, 2 got seriously injured......Yet later it says
4 people died, one survived (Jamal) who is in the hospital who got thrown out.Then we have:
"The device turned several times, killing four of the five victims — two Indians, a Pakistani and an Egyptian, and seriously injuring the other two."

I do not understand???? How many were there? If there were 6, and 4 died and 1 survived, what happened to the 6th one?

Honestly! the only thing of any interest whatsoever was out at Zoojairah again.I am sorry that is supposed to read Fujairah. More bestiality/Zoophilia.
And MY LORD!! Its a BANGALI yet again.
KI HOCCHAY DADA? (whats going on BRO?)"

"The accused was arraigned to the prosecution, which charged him with committing an abnormal and unnatural act "
I mean who is to say what is abnormal and unnatural anymore eh? Seems to me there was a time when homosexuality/lesbianism was considered abnormal and unnatural. Now its legal to have same sex marriages.
In India they can marry trees.
Then what is so wrong with what the BANGALI did?

Further more it seems : "Although the medical examination of the cow does not assert the sexual assault, the labourer was referred to the Court of First Instance, which exonerated him for lack of evidence."

I must say I do not envy that medical examiner one bit.
However the cow got off lightly as since she has not been "tampered" with and her meat is not " TAINTED".
I guess she will have quite a "MOO-ving"" story to tell in years to come.

ME? I dont like mutton/lamb, after this story I don't very much feel like eating beef.
That leaves fish and chicken. Let me tell you about chicken.
Our dear municipality in ABUDHABI is suffering from: "AN IDLE MIND IS THE DEVIL'S WORKSHOP".
Today I went to buy chicken. I was informed by no less than 7 shops, where I have shopped on/off for almost 5 years that they can no longer clean/chop the chicken ( I only buy fresh) because "BALADIYA" has made it "MAMNOON".
WHY? I ask. They shrug their shoulders and mutter PAAGAL (mad) and a few more colourful words I will not repeat here under their breath.

Is it not enough THAT I have to cook it, now I have to clean it too???? I HATE CLEANING CHICKEN!!!
WTF is the
#&%@($# problem if the butchery at the supermarkets clean the CHICKEN?
TEll me someone?
(falls down on the floor in desi dramatic fashion wails and weeps uncontrollably with huge gasping sobs.....)


5 comments:

  1. To continue the imagery of that last sentence -

    big tears falling down your face, but your mascara, eye shadow and lipstick remain smudge free!

    ;-)

    Yup - if i had to cut the head off the chicken, I think that I would suddenly become a vegetarian!

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  2. Ah the chicken dilema, I work in hospitality, chicken price has dropped drastically due to this whole bird flu deal and it is hard to even sell chicken people are scared of eating it anymore. whats the deal with that?

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  3. arey cook it above 70 degrees, no bird flu then

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  4. Yaar patta nahi where the cost of chicken has gone down. Me I have been paying the say 10/11 dirhams per kg for a while now.
    Hospitality eh?
    FREE FOOD kab millayga (said in appropiate DESI tone)
    I couldnt care less when they had MAD COW scare, and I cant be bugger all bothered with the MUGI KA ZUKAAM hungama.


    "Ho chukeeN 'GHalib' balaayeN sab tamaam
    ek marg-e-naagahaanee aur hai"

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