Monday, November 7, 2005

TMI

This has nothing to do with the TIIDA hoopla which is what TIIDA is all about. The funniest and best part is that insurance companies are charging astronomical amounts to a certain age group and to the people where the ink is still wet on their licenses. Amen Brothas and Sistahs! Less nutters and cars on the road. (choking on mean nasty laughter)

I learnt a very valuable phrase from a friend of mine some years ago. It is TMI and it stands for TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
This is for all those people you will bump into, at the doctor's, in travel agencies ,at government offices, and horrors! As companions on journeys.
People you don't know from Adams, will(hopefully) never see again, who insist in telling you things about their lives(at times personal intimate medical details), give your their phone numbers( modern technology strikes as u get the e-mail addresses too), and then blissfully you never hear from again.
What is that prompts these people to disclose so much? Its a classic case of TMI.
My cousin recently inflicted on me such a nugget. He insisted on explaining what he refers to as the "SPLASH BACK". At the risk of sounding like a Farrelly brothers character, I must warn anyone who reads further that it is quite a nasty theory.
The SPLASH BACK", occurs when you go for ,"THE BIG JOB".
Without getting too descriptive he claims that the best way to avoid this is to layer the toilet bowl with some sheets of toilet paper before one seats oneself. Disgusting yes, but thought provoking, and a solution.
A lady sitting next to me at the doctor's. My kid has a cold. She asks me how many kids I have, and in true subcon desi style tells me I should have a son, (like yeh what am I supposed to do with a son, its not like there's a Monarchy to take over, a business empire or land/properties).
Then she goes on and on and on about her kids (which is ok), and the individual deliveries (which is not). I ask you what's the point of making a frigging doctor,s appointment when I have to wait and be tortured thus.
Also since I'm here, why is it when I go into the doctor's I'm out in max 15 minutes and everyone else goes in and doesn't seem to come out. How are their ailments more significant than mine?

Then there's the new mommies and daddies ( immediately recognisable with their cameras and besotted expressions.... yeh yeh been there done that), the ones who will reveal each bodily function as if they are reciting the 10 commandments.

I could go on(but its your lucky day I will not) as it is time for me to launch into another intergalactic war with my laundry which threatens to unbalance this 18 story building in which I reside. Another leaning tower we need not. To Pisa or notta Pissa.
TMI folks all de way!

3 comments:

  1. i was stalked for 2 days by a real-estate guy who insisted on "being my friend" - i was asking about a flat i was considering. He kept on calling me back telling me this about his ex-wife, children, issues with shisha, etisalat and traffic! Way TMI :)

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  2. Errm. TMI on the retelling of the big errm 'job' story. Cute use of the word 'nugget' though.

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  3. ah yes. hate ppl who insist on boys being more important. not that i care if i have a boy or a girl - either would be fine and challenging in their own way :)

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